As I have blogged about before, I do have a problem in the shape of anxiety and panic attacks. I have had a short course of cognitive behavioural therapy over a year ago and was awaiting the start of a high intensity, 12 week individual course. This has now started and I am very excited!
My therapist put me at ease during the first session, talking through my panics and anxiety's. Mainly to work out the biggest problems before we can start to overcome them. When asked what I want from the course, my reply was a simple one 'I want to be normal'. I know 'normal' is relative but for me 'being normal' would mean taking my children out and about without thinking about it, to take them on a train to London or just to the zoo. These may sound like small things to others, but they are massive hurdles to me.
She kept nodding and writing things down which you never know is good or bad. I found myself actually feeling a little comfortable talking to someone, knowing that she was not judging me. Her responses were great and started to make me think. The real work starts next session. I have been warned, it will be an emotional roller coaster but that does not faze me. I have been living with this for 12 years on and off and now I have decided it needs to be gone forever. Only I could make that decision and only I can make that happen.
I will blog after each session just in case you can relate with anything I am saying. If I can reach out and make one person ask for help, then my work here is done.
I think one of the things all types of anxiety have in common is how draining it is to cope with. Well done. Great post - will be following with interest. :o)
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you on this and hope things start to improve for you. I suffer from anxiety, I think it could be because of my epilepsy, but it does stop you doing things and means you really have to plan something thoroughly before you go ahead. There are some occasions where I get myself so worked up about going somewhere, that I have a panic attack just thinking about it. Sounds mad, but it's something I've lived with for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
I'm just about to start CBT again. I had six weeks with one therapist about 4 months ago now but they told me I needed more specialist help than they could give me so they referred me on to someone else who has only just gotten in touch. I have my first session with the new person on the 7th of June, three days before my birthday which I'm a bit worried about as I tend to get a bit upset afterwards....but we'll see. I know that in the end it could be a really good help for me and might help reduce the amount of tablets I have to take for my anxiety, panic attacks and depression.....I hope your time in therapy gives you the results you'd like xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your lovely comments. It is great to hear from others, it makes you realise you really are not alone!
ReplyDelete@Monkey Stars, thank you and yes it is very draining! I pick myself up by looking at my little girls and know I am doing it for them.
@Crystal Jigsaw, I am totally with you! You are not mad. I get worked up in the days before a big event and then can get sick the day before. I have point blank refused to go to things because of it! The therapist called this 'avoidance' which I could have told her!! hee hee! Good luck with coming to grips with your anxieties, getting help was the best thing I could have done.....
@Actually Mummy, all was great for me before children too! They really do mess with our hormones!! Good to hear you have had positive results from it. Good luck!
@thingsandstuff, don't be worried about going. I kept telling myself they will help me so whatever I was feeling, I had to make it there. Tears are fine, it is emotions being released. I had my first course about a year ago and this current treatment is a more intensive course. Good luck with your therapy.
xXx