Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Generated Opinions

Have you ever wondered what others think of you? Or do you not worry? I do. Not because I wonder how I come across but I wonder if I am ever misinterpreted.

Why should I worry or care? If I am happy with me, myself and I, then why should others opinions bother me? Mainly because people get it wrong. Someone's opinion of you as a person, I have decided, is not only based on how you act but also that persons insecurities. If they have barriers up and misconceptions about themselves then how they interpret your reactions will differ. You know this if you think about it. There are some friends you can tell anything to and know they will not take offence or judge you. Others, you know you have to tread on egg shells to ensure you don't say anything which they could deem 'offensive'.

Perception is a funny thing. How I perceive an incident to have happened compared to someone else, witnessing the same, can differ widely. I have sat trying to work this out for years. Only with maturity (age!) have I started to see it clearer. Everyone harbours their own opinions - rightly or wrongly - of people and how those people act. Some people are unable to see everything neutrally each time. They build up apprehension and tension so even the tiniest comment can make them over exaggerate comments.

It is a tricky situation. I do tread on egg shells especially with some people. Always with new acquaintances until I know how they are as a person. It has happened where loved ones have been misinterpreted but it isn't for me to comment on those situations. I do comment a little during those situations but then you also have to ask yourself, is there any point having 'that' conversation especially when you are aware of the other sides misguided opinions?

Gone too soon

The hardest thing in many people's lives is loosing loved ones before what we deem is 'their time'.  My eldest is getting to an age where she is becoming interested in celebrities and all the circus that surrounds them and their lives.  This means we are inevitably going to have some rough conversations.

She has enjoyed watching 'Glee' for a while now and when the news broke that Cory Monteith  has passed away she was searching the web for the stories behind the tragedy.  That is what situations like this are - a tragedy.   A young man, taken from this world before 'his time',  tearing family and loved ones apart.  Stories like these bring up conversations that I feel are right and healthy to have with my daughter.  We discussed the stories online, she came up with a few ideas of why.  As she looked deeper into the story she discovered that Cory had been in rehab.  I explained that that does not mean that his past is related in anyway to what caused his death but here started a conversation about drugs and alcohol.

My daughter asked a lot of questions which I deem as healthy.  I am of the opinion that the more children know the less likely they are to try and find out for themselves.  I am not saying 5 year olds need to know about the birds and the bees but if the question is asked, you should never lie to your child; you just put it into appropriate context and language for them.  Back to the subject in hand, alcohol and drugs.  My daughter wanted to know how this affects the body after you have gotten 'clean'.  What an interesting question!  This allowed me to tell her about bodies not always responding they way they use to, how bodies are no longer resilient to the same level of alcohol and drug abuse and that is how she came to understand.  No matter how famous, rich or clever you are, everyone starts out with the same basic body.  What you chose to do with it is your decision.  If you abuse it, it takes time to heal.  Even after the healing process, some bodies just are not the same.  She saw the full circle of what drug and alcohol abuse can do to you even after you think you are 'clean'.