Tuesday, 11 October 2011

House move continued.......

We eventually exchanged on our house sale - good times.  Only thing to do now is exchange on the purchase.  Due to the lack of finding a house we had to exchange on the sale so as not to lose a buyer.  When we had decided to do that, we found a house.  There is some saying or other that goes with that I am sure.

I am trying my hardest to get the two to tally near enough together, searches went in and came back quickly; enquiries nearly all back but then the bank started changing their mind on the amount they would lend.  Once they decided that 'maybe' they would still lend the same, our survey threw up asbestos. Oh joy!  Having an asbestos survey done this week to figure out the damage then we can barter some money off to cover it or if we can do it ourself, we can just go ahead.  Only thing I am worried about now is getting the mortgage offer.  It did not come in today's post but hopefully it will be tomorrow.  I hate the waiting because until it comes, I have no idea what they will lend us!

Moving is stressful but at the same time, very enjoyable.  I cannot wait to start renovations on the new place.  Did I not mention that bit?  The place is a bit of a mess so needs a complete over haul.  This part is very exciting.  Any ideas on getting cheap bathrooms, kitchens, paint, door frames or stairs, please let me know!  Or if you run a company and want some free publicity in return for giving us something, email me and we can try and sort something out.

Schools Ofsted, does it really work?

My eldest came home from school last night with an Ofsted letter.  Her school is going to be reviewed this week and they want the comments from the parents.  She has only been at secondary school for a matter of weeks and has herself already noticed how the teachers have changed in lieu of the inspectors coming.  The French teacher has suspended tests this week so that the inspectors do not witness them and apparently other teachers have been 'prepping' the children on the lessons that may or may be not witnessed.  Before I could make a comment she said 'Does that not defeat the object though Mum?  If we are all changing that its not really what the school is like'.  How are you meant to reply to that?  I totally agree with her but found myself trying to think of reasons to back the school so she did not pick up on any form of conflict.

Ofsted's are meant to be a way of inspecting schools and are a great thing and should not be stopped.  Schools should not feel the need to change ways to suit the inspectors though.  A test in a French class sounds like a great way to show how well year 7's are getting on learning a new language.  Maybe Ofsted should be more of a surprise?  Could they not just show up one day and inspect? The notice period gives the school time to change and adapt when they could be just as good staying as they are.  My daughter is happy at the school and the results are good too.  There are a few issues that have been noted but that could be part and parcel of secondary school.  Time will tell.

We have the paper work to write notes on to the inspectors.  What to write??..... One of her teachers apparently calls all the pupils 'darling' or 'sweetie' because, and in the teachers words 'I cannot be expected to remember all your names'  Not good in my book but my daughter likes her.  My point is, if the teacher is getting good results and the children enjoy being in their class, should we not allow some things to slide?  We trust them to teach and we should allow them to do so.  On the other hand, if they saw no issues, then they would not be 'prepping' the children now would they?

I withhold full judgement until the report is released.

Congnitive Behavioural Therapy

The therapy has now come to an end after 12 sessions.  I felt there were more things I still needed to do before I finished but only I can make a difference now and forever.  I learnt many things during my time with the therapist.  Mainly that I am in control and I can deal with something when it happens.  My main and biggest issue was always avoiding situations - social or otherwise - and creating a 'safe bubble' around me and my life which that meant I could continually 'avoid' situations that I did not want to address.  I know that there is still so much more I need to do but the point is I am just going to keep going, keep challenging and keep moving forward.

The graded exposure that I wrote about in previous posts, is a great way to de-sensitise yourself to your big worries.  One of mine were travelling on public transport.  With the therapist, we wrote a step by step list which allowed me to slowly be exposed to the trains and buses, starting the journeys short and gradually growing through to extending the journey and adding in stops until I can finally go into London.  I have not got to London yet but did get to Battersea for a Wedding Fair last week and for me that was a big deal.

If you suffer from panic attacks please remember these quick points:
  • The fear feeling will pass
  • If it returns, fight it off
  • Ignore the 'run away' mentality that your brain will try and impose.  In the long run, it is not the best solution
  • People around you will not think any less of you if you have a panic attack
  • Be more compassionate to yourself
  • Give yourself time and know that you are not alone

Thousands of people all over the world suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.  Many will not tell people and suffer alone like I did when it all started 12 years ago.  I can talk a little about it now but it is still hard yet at the same time, it is good to talk.  If the person you are sharing the problem with is close, they will listen, not judge and support you.

You are not alone.