My youngest has now started Primary School full time. I am finding the time alone odd but enlightening. It wasn't like this with my eldest and it made me wonder why.
I had my eldest during studying for my degree, so I was always leaving her either with my mum or in a nursery. After I got my degree, I went out to work. This carried on while my emotions jumped and I spiraled more and more into my depression. I worked at different places, always worked hard and always enjoyed the work. When she started school, I had just started to get help for post natal depression, which in turn had turn into depression and anxiety issues. I got help and continued working. Had a fab job as Marketing Assistant in a College. Then Junior came along.
We couldn't afford for me to go back to work. Yes, it is true, nursery fees would have taken all my money. I was faced with a conundrum. I enjoyed working, but on reflection, I had totally missed everything with my first daughter. I had worked the whole time, never had 'at home mummy' time. My husband and I decided I would stay at home with this daughter.
I have done this for over 4 years now and she has started school. I have worked bits and pieces in that time - freelancing marketing projects, web sites and even back at the College. Now she is at school, I want to do something for me again. I have loved being a stay at home mum and would not have changed it for the World and I intend to do more freelance stuff so I can continue giving my girls the support they need. After 4 years with her and me all day, every day, it is odd though. Going out does not need to be planned around a little one. I can get up and go anywhere. It is in fact quite liberating! I feel a new surge of energy. I need to re-establish myself as me. This is my time. I just can't wait for things, I want them to happen. Only I can do that. So here goes.........